I'll see your Australia and raise you Russia...

What is it about board games that bring out the worst sides of human behaviour since Genghis Khan went for a walkabout?


 Take Monopoly for instance. I've seen nuns (no really, an ex-girlfriend of mine has aunts that are full-fledged sisters, habit and all) become completely unglued and lose their holier than thou minds after landing on Park Place with a hotel on it and then rolling doubles for the third time...go to Hell, go directly to Hell, do not pass Heaven, do not collect $200...the Church isn't doomed but YOU ARE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!


 It's a completely different game when you're playing with Catholic Nuns who have had too much wine and got a sudden case of DonaldTrumpitis. I recommend it wholeheartedly. Fun stuff, although I assumed their senses of humour would be better since they got the BIG GUY upstairs on their side, helping to screw me over but alas...not so much. Every time one of them would win the moolah from Free Parking or score some bread from Chance, I would remind them that greed is a sin and that they should give it away to the needy. 


I'm not sure exactly where Purgatory is, near Ecuador or El Salvador I think, but I think I might take the sisters up on their suggestion sometime, maybe this winter. They made it sound like I would fit right in...


    Another game that the family with the women in black (I called them that out of respect for Johnny Cash) was fond of is "The Settlers of Cataan" which is and I'm quoting the box, "A game of discovery, settlement and trade".  Righhhhhhhhhhhhht. More like an onslaught of disappointment, the discovery of you're royally fucked and what you need, no one will trade with you unless you thrown in your new linen sheets, keys to your car and your testes or ovaries, depending on whether you sit or stand. The basis of the game is to build roads, towns and then cities by earning or trading commodities such as rock, sheep, wheat, wood and mud. 


That's right, people lose their shit over mud and rocks. I wanted to throw rocks at the opponent I was playing against last night, only I didn't have any but she was willing to trade me one. For everything I had...sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh.


Needless to say, I got my ass handed to me which was nice since I had missed it and was happy to get it back although I was less than impressed with all the footprints all over it but beggars can't be choosers right? In the long run, the experience will only help me get better at the game and then I can strike down with great vengeance and furious anger those that dare to oppose me. And it will be an annihiliation of epic proportions, no Divine Intervention needed whatsoever and besides....


those nuns freaked me out.


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